another 

Another time, I met LL at a party, I was 15, he was 18. We made out that night. He texted me the day after that we should meet up. I was so excited. I thought we would go for a nice lunch and take a walk in the park. The moment we met, he called a taxi to take me straight to his house. Everything happened so fast. 

I remember his room. I remember looking around his room the whole time. Escaping my body. It felt good to be wanted. But I didn’t want it to go that far. I told him I wasn’t sure. But that didn’t stop him. Because apparently it was implied that I wanted him to fuck me. I got in the taxi with him. What did I expect. 

I remember looking down at myself. With him on top of me, holding my hands tightly. 

I felt like shit. I was used. It was horrible. 

My parents found out. Idk how they sensed it. My father called me a whore and said I should have charged him for money. Yeah. My father. They were so angry at me. 

I cut myself that night. 

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